part 9 {rach}

“Well, back in ’87…”
Mr. Vendetta’s story was interrupted by a piecing shriek from the house. “Excuse me,” Mr. Zangler cried hurriedly, rushing into the house with Hayden and Eliana right behind him. Mr. Vendetta was left in a cloud of smoke.

As Eliana entered the house, she was again reminded of the meal Mrs. Zangler was preparing. She wrinkled up her nose and followed the sound – and the smell – to the kitchen.
Mrs. Zangler was standing on the kitchen counter, gripping a cupboard door as if her life depended on it. “GEORGE!!” she screamed, inching back on the counter and trying not to loose her balance.
“For goodness sake, Ophelia,” Mr. Zangler cried, “what’s the matter?”
Mrs. Zangler tried to catch her breath. “A pig!!” she sputtered. “A dirty, smelly, fat little pig just ran through my kitchen!”
Eliana and Hayden glanced at each other, both confused. “Uh, Mom… a pig?” Hayden asked.
Mrs. Zangler narrowed her eyes and began to climb off the counter. “I am not crazy, young man,” she said. “There was an honest-to-goodness pig running through my kitchen. What I want to know is which one of you brought him in here?” Her eyes went back and forth from Eliana to Hayden to her husband and back again.
Addison’s head popped around the corner. “Uh, mom?” he said quietly.
“What is it, Addison?” Mrs. Zangler snapped.
Addison hesitated. “Actually, pigs aren’t dirty or smelly. They’re some of the cleanest animals alive. And they’re smart, and they make great pets…”
All eyes turned to Addison.
“If you mean to tell me,” Mrs. Zangler began, looking as if she was going to blow her top, “that you brought that creature into this house expecting to keep it as a pet--”
“But mom, she’s a nice pig!” Addison protested.
“Absolutely not!” Mrs. Zangler cried at the top of her lungs. She had snapped. “Addison Frederick Zangler, you find that pig and get him out of this house right now!”
“It’s a she, not a he,” Addison said quietly. “Her name is Ursula.”
Mrs. Zangler’s face was turning from a deep shade of red to an alarming purple. Addison took the cue, hurrying out of the kitchen calling, “Ursula!”

“I just don’t get what’s so gross about a pig,” Addison said. He was sitting on the front porch with Hayden and Eliana, holding the potbelly pig on his lap.
“Pigs do have a pretty big reputation,” Hayden commented.
“But it’s all false!” Addison retorted. “Pigs are clean, smart and wonderful pets.”
“But what about the way they eat?” Eliana asked.
“So what?” Addison replied. “Hayden eats like that sometimes. But pigs clean up after themselves, unlike some people.”
“Gee, thanks a lot,” Hayden muttered. “But what about the phrase ‘sweating like a pig’?”
“It’s a bunch of bologna,” Addison said. “Pigs don’t have sweat glands – that’s why they roll in the mud.”
Hayden sat in sulky silence, defeated.
“Where did you get the pig, Add?” Eliana asked, having enough foresight to see that it would be wise to change the subject.
“Some lady gave him to me,” Addison replied. “She was just walking down the street with Ursula on a leash. I said I liked her pig, and she asked if I wanted to keep her.”
“And you said yes,” Hayden said, rolling his eyes.
“Did this lady, by any change, have an interesting name?” Eliana asked.
“Yeah,” Hayden said, thinking. “Like, Exelmira Fitzpatrick or something.”
“Xymena Kirk, maybe?” Eliana asked.
“That’s it!” Addison agreed. “How’d you know?”

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to quote the highly esteemed Mr. Walt Disney, "We allow no geniuses around our Studio. " I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good. I wholeheartedly agree.

goodbye.