helloooooooooooooo to all the non-existant readers of the Quirky Story! i would like to apologize on behalf of Bianca and Beryl for them not posting in so long... Beryl is off being eaten by bears in the wilderness, and Bianca has immersed herself in something called..... the fair. gasp. be careful if you ask her about it, she may give you more information than you want. i'm just a friend and a faithful reader of the blog. girls, if you're ever in L.A., gimme a ring! we could hang out, maybe sing some karaoke... i can't take the diiiiiiistaaaance...... anyways, hope to see you soon. :-)
best regards,
Oliver J.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
[Note for the future: never let Bianca and Beryl have a camera. Bad idea.]
Beryl here. Bianca is here too, but she's being rather unhelpful at the moment. So. Here we are. Bianca and Beryl. And we're not updating the story. Because. We found a camera. His name is Bob. So here's what happened:
This is the Celtic Thunder impression, specifically Paul. He needs a smaller mouth.
This is for Ally. In honor of the Jane-Eyre-Duck-lips-experience from Lit class.
This is a very realistic depiction of our friendship. 'Nough said.
Secret agents. Wait...we weren't supposed to tell! We'll have to go into hiding.
And this is why Rachel is my only friend...
I am a monkey. Specifically the one from Lion King. With the red nose and blue rear-end. Nevermind.
Oh, yeah, Bianca is the aforesaid monkey as well.
She's taking flying lessons. Bear with me.
She's also enrolled in a manners course...but it hasn't been going too well. She has been diagnosed with OMS. Ouch, Rach. Ouch.
And at the end of the session...well, it was just too much. She passed out. I could only look on in horror. She's dead. :D
This is the Celtic Thunder impression, specifically Paul. He needs a smaller mouth.
This is for Ally. In honor of the Jane-Eyre-Duck-lips-experience from Lit class.
This is a very realistic depiction of our friendship. 'Nough said.
Secret agents. Wait...we weren't supposed to tell! We'll have to go into hiding.
And this is why Rachel is my only friend...
I am a monkey. Specifically the one from Lion King. With the red nose and blue rear-end. Nevermind.
Oh, yeah, Bianca is the aforesaid monkey as well.
She's taking flying lessons. Bear with me.
She's also enrolled in a manners course...but it hasn't been going too well. She has been diagnosed with OMS. Ouch, Rach. Ouch.
And at the end of the session...well, it was just too much. She passed out. I could only look on in horror. She's dead. :D
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
whhhhyyy...
is it that I can't see the cute little monkeys on my computer? I happened to be on a different computer yesterday...and lo and behold, there are monkeys all over this blog! How did I not know? I feel like a new person...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
part 20 {lib}
"Don't ever call me 'Percy' again. Explain what to me?" Eliana turned to look at Percival as he walked into the room in a pinstriped suit and pink tie. His blond beach-boy hair was spiked, with a surprising and somewhat out-of-character streak of blue on the left side of his head.
"Sorry, Percy," Hayden said absentmindedly. "Anyone want pancakes?"
"Of course," Eliana answered.
"Sure," Addison chirped.
"Would someone tell me what is going on?" Percival asked, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"Well, your lemur is intoxicated, but beyond that, everything is fairly normal," Addison answered helpfully.
"Pancakes?" Hayden asked.
Percival ignored him, rushing to Gregory's plastic carrier. The lemur blinked up at him dazedly, staggered a few steps, then keeled over on the bottom of his cage, snoring.
"He needs a doctor!" Percival exclaimed urgently.
Hayden stopped measuring pancake mix to look at Gregory. "Chill out, man, he's gonna sleep it off."
"That'll be some hangover," Addison observed.
"He needs a doctor," Percival said again. He surveyed his options: Hayden, Eliana, and Addison. "I'm not sure he's awake," he murmured, watching Hayden pour soy sauce into the pancake batter. "The little one scares me," he went on, looking at Addison. "I guess she's the only one in her right mind enough to drive," he decided to himself, looking at Eliana. "You," he commanded. "Bring the car around. We must get to a veterinary facility."
Eliana raised her eyebrows. "Bring the car around from where? It's in the driveway. Anyway, just who is going to pay for the bill?"
Percival rolled his eyes again at the delay. "I'm the Prime Minister of Thailand's son, for goodness sake! Can we just go?"
"All right, all right, I'll drive you to the vet! What about Aunt Thelma?" Eliana asked.
"Still asleep," Addison answered. "Let's go."
They piled into Eliana's car; Hayden and Addison in the back and Percival riding shotgun with the pet carrier on his lap.
"This whole thing is unbelievable," Eliana muttered as she started the car.
Ten minutes later, they were standing in the waiting room of the vet office. The receptionist looked up and smiled, revealing two rows of braces with colored bands. "How can I help ya'll today?" she asked.
"First off, nice braces," Addison said. The receptionist beamed.
"Thanks. What's with the lemur?"
"He's, um, slightly inebriated," Eliana explained.
"Ok. I'll tell Dr. Quadrangle, and you'll need to fill out these forms."
The four sat down in the waiting room, which was decorated with artichokes and pineapples painted sporadically on the walls. Eliana began filling out the forms. Hayden, still in his pajamas, browsed a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Addison alternated between looking over Hayden's shoulder and poking Gregory for some kind of response. Percival was occupied with slapping Addison's hand every time he tried to touch Gregory and answering Eliana's questions.
"Has he ever had German measles?"
"No."
"Mumps?"
"Once."
"Epileptic seizures?"
"He's on meds for them right now," Percival answered.
"Quite a medical history," Eliana commented. "Here, it needs your signature."
Percival signed and Eliana took the clipboard back to the receptionist.
"Dr. Quadrangle will call you when he's ready," the woman said. Eliana returned to her seat, but it was not long before Dr. Quadrangle poked his head around the corner.
"Gregory?" he asked.
-----
Sorry about the delay; I've been busy with ruling the world and doing all the other amazing things I do on a daily basis (piranha hunting, mining for diamonds, climbing really tall bookcases; you get the idea). I will leave you with this wisdom from Mark Twain: "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Ciao.
"Sorry, Percy," Hayden said absentmindedly. "Anyone want pancakes?"
"Of course," Eliana answered.
"Sure," Addison chirped.
"Would someone tell me what is going on?" Percival asked, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"Well, your lemur is intoxicated, but beyond that, everything is fairly normal," Addison answered helpfully.
"Pancakes?" Hayden asked.
Percival ignored him, rushing to Gregory's plastic carrier. The lemur blinked up at him dazedly, staggered a few steps, then keeled over on the bottom of his cage, snoring.
"He needs a doctor!" Percival exclaimed urgently.
Hayden stopped measuring pancake mix to look at Gregory. "Chill out, man, he's gonna sleep it off."
"That'll be some hangover," Addison observed.
"He needs a doctor," Percival said again. He surveyed his options: Hayden, Eliana, and Addison. "I'm not sure he's awake," he murmured, watching Hayden pour soy sauce into the pancake batter. "The little one scares me," he went on, looking at Addison. "I guess she's the only one in her right mind enough to drive," he decided to himself, looking at Eliana. "You," he commanded. "Bring the car around. We must get to a veterinary facility."
Eliana raised her eyebrows. "Bring the car around from where? It's in the driveway. Anyway, just who is going to pay for the bill?"
Percival rolled his eyes again at the delay. "I'm the Prime Minister of Thailand's son, for goodness sake! Can we just go?"
"All right, all right, I'll drive you to the vet! What about Aunt Thelma?" Eliana asked.
"Still asleep," Addison answered. "Let's go."
They piled into Eliana's car; Hayden and Addison in the back and Percival riding shotgun with the pet carrier on his lap.
"This whole thing is unbelievable," Eliana muttered as she started the car.
Ten minutes later, they were standing in the waiting room of the vet office. The receptionist looked up and smiled, revealing two rows of braces with colored bands. "How can I help ya'll today?" she asked.
"First off, nice braces," Addison said. The receptionist beamed.
"Thanks. What's with the lemur?"
"He's, um, slightly inebriated," Eliana explained.
"Ok. I'll tell Dr. Quadrangle, and you'll need to fill out these forms."
The four sat down in the waiting room, which was decorated with artichokes and pineapples painted sporadically on the walls. Eliana began filling out the forms. Hayden, still in his pajamas, browsed a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Addison alternated between looking over Hayden's shoulder and poking Gregory for some kind of response. Percival was occupied with slapping Addison's hand every time he tried to touch Gregory and answering Eliana's questions.
"Has he ever had German measles?"
"No."
"Mumps?"
"Once."
"Epileptic seizures?"
"He's on meds for them right now," Percival answered.
"Quite a medical history," Eliana commented. "Here, it needs your signature."
Percival signed and Eliana took the clipboard back to the receptionist.
"Dr. Quadrangle will call you when he's ready," the woman said. Eliana returned to her seat, but it was not long before Dr. Quadrangle poked his head around the corner.
"Gregory?" he asked.
-----
Sorry about the delay; I've been busy with ruling the world and doing all the other amazing things I do on a daily basis (piranha hunting, mining for diamonds, climbing really tall bookcases; you get the idea). I will leave you with this wisdom from Mark Twain: "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Ciao.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
part 19 [rach]
FINALLY I wrote the next section. so...here goes.
****************
“I’m not sure if the Zanglers have warabi chicken-peas, or whatever you just said…is this Percival?”
“Of course, who else would it be?” the voice exclaimed, irritated. “And what do you mean you don’t have my chick peas? I specifically told Dane to pack some up for me!”
“Who’s Dane?”
“My butler,” Percival replied, “although it really is no concern of yours. Did you understand my instructions, or shall I have to repeat them?”
Eliana scrunched up her nose and made a face at Addison, who laughed behind a hand. “Do you like…peanut butter and jelly?” Eliana asked, trying to keep from laughing.
A few loud sputtering noises came over the phone, then a quick intake of air. “If I must,” Percival said with the air of a martyr, “I will consume your quaint little American sandwich. But Gregory must not be without his rum, it makes him grouchy.”
“I’m not sure we have any—”
“It’s in my bag, the second to last one on the bottom with a red tag on the zipper. Third pouch on the right side, there’s a small bottle of it.”
Eliana was about to inquire further, when she heard a click on the line, and then a long, loud beeping noise. “He hung up,”, she said, setting the phone down on the counter.
“What does he want?” Addison asked.
“A peanut butter and jelly sandwich for His Highness, and a shot of rum for Gregory.”
“Um, mom doesn’t usually keep rum in the house…” Addison said.
“Percival has some. Second bag to the bottom is what he said…one with a red tag. Bottom of what, though?”
“His pile,” Addison said, lips pursed together.
“Pile…of what?”
Addison rolled his eyes and led Eliana into the dining room. Up against the far wall was a tower of suitcases at least a foot taller that Eliana. The one on the bottom looked big enough to fit a Saint Bernard.
“Of course, it would be the second to the bottom,” Addison grumbled. “Here, help me take these off.”
Eliana and Addison spent the next five minutes removing Percival’s luggage and attempting to locate the bottle of rum. They finally found it just where the boy had said, in the third pouch on the right side of the second to bottom suitcase with a red tag.
“Now the question is, how do we give it to him?” Addison asked.
“Maybe just in a cup.” Eliana suggested. “He seems like a pretty smart guy.”
Addison poured some of the liquid into a juice glass from their cupboard and cautiously slid it into the lemur’s cage. The animal snatched it up immediately and began guzzling his morning snack.
“Well, that’s taken care of,” Eliana said, “let’s get His Highness a sandwich.”
While Addison delivered the “quaint” little sandwich to their guest, Eliana cleaned up the kitchen dishes. It was then that Hayden came fumbling downstairs. “What was all the noise earlier?” he asked, scratching his head of very messy hair.
“Which time?” Eliana laughed, “when we were chasing Gregory, or when we were tearing down the tower of suitcases?”
“Nevermind, I shouldn’t have asked,” Hayden mumbled. “Um, Ellie? What’s wrong with the monkey?”
“It’s not a monkey you goof, it’s a lemur,” Eliana replied. “Don’t worry, he’s allowed to have rum.”
“Rum?!?” Hayden exclaimed. “Is that what’s wrong with him?”
Eliana walked over to where Hayden was peering into Gregory’s cage. The lemur was swaying back and forth, wearing the cup on his head and…hiccupping.
“Maybe we gave him a little too much?” Eliana asked, smiling sheepishly.
“I’d say,” Hayden laughed. “Have fun explaining this to Percy.”
****************
quote of the day: "When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance." -Victor Borge
there goes my aspiration to be an opera singer. oh well, there's always botany.
have a good life. goodbye.
****************
“I’m not sure if the Zanglers have warabi chicken-peas, or whatever you just said…is this Percival?”
“Of course, who else would it be?” the voice exclaimed, irritated. “And what do you mean you don’t have my chick peas? I specifically told Dane to pack some up for me!”
“Who’s Dane?”
“My butler,” Percival replied, “although it really is no concern of yours. Did you understand my instructions, or shall I have to repeat them?”
Eliana scrunched up her nose and made a face at Addison, who laughed behind a hand. “Do you like…peanut butter and jelly?” Eliana asked, trying to keep from laughing.
A few loud sputtering noises came over the phone, then a quick intake of air. “If I must,” Percival said with the air of a martyr, “I will consume your quaint little American sandwich. But Gregory must not be without his rum, it makes him grouchy.”
“I’m not sure we have any—”
“It’s in my bag, the second to last one on the bottom with a red tag on the zipper. Third pouch on the right side, there’s a small bottle of it.”
Eliana was about to inquire further, when she heard a click on the line, and then a long, loud beeping noise. “He hung up,”, she said, setting the phone down on the counter.
“What does he want?” Addison asked.
“A peanut butter and jelly sandwich for His Highness, and a shot of rum for Gregory.”
“Um, mom doesn’t usually keep rum in the house…” Addison said.
“Percival has some. Second bag to the bottom is what he said…one with a red tag. Bottom of what, though?”
“His pile,” Addison said, lips pursed together.
“Pile…of what?”
Addison rolled his eyes and led Eliana into the dining room. Up against the far wall was a tower of suitcases at least a foot taller that Eliana. The one on the bottom looked big enough to fit a Saint Bernard.
“Of course, it would be the second to the bottom,” Addison grumbled. “Here, help me take these off.”
Eliana and Addison spent the next five minutes removing Percival’s luggage and attempting to locate the bottle of rum. They finally found it just where the boy had said, in the third pouch on the right side of the second to bottom suitcase with a red tag.
“Now the question is, how do we give it to him?” Addison asked.
“Maybe just in a cup.” Eliana suggested. “He seems like a pretty smart guy.”
Addison poured some of the liquid into a juice glass from their cupboard and cautiously slid it into the lemur’s cage. The animal snatched it up immediately and began guzzling his morning snack.
“Well, that’s taken care of,” Eliana said, “let’s get His Highness a sandwich.”
While Addison delivered the “quaint” little sandwich to their guest, Eliana cleaned up the kitchen dishes. It was then that Hayden came fumbling downstairs. “What was all the noise earlier?” he asked, scratching his head of very messy hair.
“Which time?” Eliana laughed, “when we were chasing Gregory, or when we were tearing down the tower of suitcases?”
“Nevermind, I shouldn’t have asked,” Hayden mumbled. “Um, Ellie? What’s wrong with the monkey?”
“It’s not a monkey you goof, it’s a lemur,” Eliana replied. “Don’t worry, he’s allowed to have rum.”
“Rum?!?” Hayden exclaimed. “Is that what’s wrong with him?”
Eliana walked over to where Hayden was peering into Gregory’s cage. The lemur was swaying back and forth, wearing the cup on his head and…hiccupping.
“Maybe we gave him a little too much?” Eliana asked, smiling sheepishly.
“I’d say,” Hayden laughed. “Have fun explaining this to Percy.”
****************
quote of the day: "When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance." -Victor Borge
there goes my aspiration to be an opera singer. oh well, there's always botany.
have a good life. goodbye.
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